My story. plz listen?

my life's story. where to begin? well ok I was abut 8 when my dad walked out on us. My mom was always gone. Pretty soon the electricity was out, and we had no running water. We lived like that for 4 yrs we choope dwood we hauled water and we took showers at friend's houses. I started to cut. it started right before my 9th birthday. I saw a razor and tried it and i can't even describe the thrill it gave me. i tried to commit close to my 12th birthday I took tranquilizers pain reliever morphine, hydros, i mean anything i could find. i ended up in the hospital and then shortly after i got out my nephew was born. I took care of him. i made sure we had somewhere to live. i tried my best and now I'm find out im going to die? please someone give me some hope? because I sure can use some now....